Hair Care for Spirited Girls or Boys

I used to think that all little girls loved bows and fancy hairdos, but I realized how wrong I was when I had my first daughter. Though she was born with long, beautiful hair, she has preferred to keep it down for most of her life. I loved putting bows on her when she was small, but that stage was pretty short-lived. Once she could grab things, the bows came right out. Hair care doesn’t have to be a struggle, though.

hair care

(These principles would also apply to boys, but my boys have always been much more willing to let me take care of their hair!)


Less hair means less brushing, so I try to cut my girl’s hair every year. This year, she did not want a haircut, but she’s almost 6, so hair care is starting to get a little easier.

We did bangs for a year, but I don’t recommend them because of how often they need to be cut. Also, the process to grow them out takes forever! Our current solution is a small ponytail to pull the bangs back until they’re long enough to brush to the side.

hair care


Until the last year or so, my daughter insisted on brushing her own hair most of the time. I made a deal with her that should could do it every day as long as I could brush it before church. Now that she’s in school, she lets me brush her hair if she gets to do it first. Mostly, I am just helping with the back where she can’t reach very well.


Don’t put in a hairstyle she said she doesn’t want! She will remove it five minutes later and ruin all your hard work. (Of course I’ve never had this happen.) I always thought I’d learn to French braid and do intricate styles, but my girl prefers simpler styles, nothing that needs a tutorial. We’re talking pigtails, a single ponytail, or bun most of the time. I’m okay with that.

I don’t get any fancy hair products, just some gel and hairspray. I use the tiny rubber bands because they stick better in her silky hair.

Having a fiercely independent daughter is a great thing, but doing her hair is much different than I expected. Simple is still beautiful, though. It’s more important for me to let her take charge of her own hair care and only step in when I need to. She’s my daughter, not a show pony. Maybe in a few years, I’ll learn to French braid on her much balder little sister. 😉

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